My good friends, Carrol and Linda Copeland who many of you probably know, celebrated their wedding anniversary Saturday.
I was not able to attend their anniversary party. It’s a Saturday. I stay in old sweats, and sometimes bed, on Saturdays. But I felt guilty so I offer the following, captured off the internet, as a gift. I hope they laugh.
-A husband and wife were celebrating 50 years of marriage with a big anniversary party. At one point they were toasted, then asked what it’s like to be married for 50 years. The wife, known to have a quick wit, replied, “It all seems like five minutes....under water.”
-“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”
-Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
-“My wife and I were happy for 25 years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield
-“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” – Milton Berle
-“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – George Burns
-After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
-When a man steals your wife, there’s no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife.
-Man is incomplete until he marries. Then he is finished.
-The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
-Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
-Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
-If you want your spouse to listen and pay absolute attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
-When a married man says, “I’ll think about it,” what he really means is that he doesn’t know his wife’s opinion yet.
-Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the e-mail folder “Instruction Manuals.”
-A man is boasting to his buddies that he is taking his wife to Rome for their 40th wedding anniversary.
"What will you do for your 50th?" one of them asks.
"I'll go and get her."
And finally. . .
-To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up. - Ogden Nash.
So Happy Anniversary my friends. Perhaps you won’t pay any attention to the above, and probably shouldn’t except to laugh out loud. Laughter, I hear, helps a marriage.
But you’ve made it for 46 years without my help. Congratulations. Wishing you at least another 50, or so. And thank you for being my friends.