The Football Funnies

We are nearly to fall and we’re already into football and I am happy. Yes, this grandma is a football fan, and most everyone knows that.

So one of my Fhunny Fhilosophers shared the following with me this week. I laughed. I hope you do too, and seriously consider the truth (Ha-ha-ha) in the following Football Fhunny Fhilosophies.

-“It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football.” John Heisman

-“I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.” Bear Bryant, Alabama

-“It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!” Knute Rockne, Notre Dame

-“At Georgia Southern we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.” Erik Russell, Georgia Southern

-“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” Lou Holtz, Arkansas and Notre Dame

-“When you win, nothing hurts.” Joe Namath, Alabama 

-“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.” Frank Leahy, Notre Dame

-“There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.” Woody Hayes, Ohio State

-“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.” Bob Devaney, Nebraska

-“In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.” Wally Butts, Georgia

-I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms—Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.” Alex Karras, Iowa

-“My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor.” Bowden Wyatt, Tennessee

-“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.” Duffy Daugherty, Michigan State

-“Always remember Goliath was a 40-point favorite over David.” Shug Jordan, Auburn

-“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me. He said, ‘Well Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.’” Walt Garrison, Oklahoma State

-“Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.” Bobby Bowden, Florida State

-“Football is NOT a contact sport. It is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.” Duffy Daugherty, Michigan State

-After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, the coach’s post-game message to his team was, “All those who need showers, take them.” John McKay, USC

-“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.” Murray Warmath, Minnesota

-“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.” Knute Rockne, Notre Dame

-“We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.” Darrell Royal, Texas

-“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.” John McKay, USC

-“I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.” Knute Rockne, Notre Dame

-Ohio State’s Urban Meyer on one of his players: “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.”

I LOVE football!