Can't Say 'No!'

I’ve got to learn to just say “NO!”

No, that is not a reference to that song in our fabulous musical “Oklahoma!” You know, the one from the girl who sings “I Cain’t Say No.” I learned how to say that “NO” a long time ago.

No, I can’t say “No” to my friends who need favors. Most recently that was running buddy Linda Copeland. First, I did not say “No” to Linda and her hubby when they asked if I wanted to join the revitalized Friends of the Library. I like the library. I think everybody should like our library. Our Sallisaw library is a splendid spot, with free wi-fi and all kinds of other goodies. I love our Stanley Tubbs Memorial Library, and I didn’t even want to say “No” to helping raise money for even more good, and free, stuff. So I didn’t say “No,” and here I am, in trouble again.

That’s when Linda and Hubby decided to hold some fundraising events for the library through our little Friends of the Library group. Linda, forever and always a photographer, thought offering Fun Photos at Main Street’s Bluegrass and Barbeque event Saturday would be a great fundraiser. I agreed. To the fundraising part. Not what she suggested a bit later.

“I need a model,” Linda said.

“Call Iman or Tyra Banks,” I wanted to retort. Didn’t. Ugh. So I was it.

And there Linda was, in her backyard, camera set up on a tripod, with a backdrop for goodness sakes, like this was a big deal or something. Well, I guess it was to her. Not me. Models should be young, pretty, etc. Not old, ugly, and sleepy like me. But I had not said “No.”

“I need you to wear these, or hold them up in front of your face so I can practice taking photos,” Linda explained, handing me all sorts of strange head wear, face masks, zombie eyes and sumptuous lips. I tried to say “No,” but it didn’t work at all. Well, I thought, as long as the gear hides my face, what can it hurt. So I stood still for a couple photos, but that was all I could handle.

Then Linda broached, “OK. Now I need you to look like you are running away from a dinosaur.”

“What!?!” I offered. “No!” I tried. I really did.

“You’re the only one I got,” Linda wailed. “I’m gonna’ take pix of people looking like they are running away from a dinosaur then I’m going to Photoshop the dinosaur into the photo!”

“No!” I kept trying.

Then Linda put on her hurt face, the one where her lower lip sticks out, and she stares down at her feet like she is going to cry any minute.

Oh Good Grief. “Where do you need me?” I admit it. I caved. Linda posed me in front of her backdrop sheet, and told me to act scared and like I was running. If I had known what was coming I could have looked a lot more scared, but at that particular moment I just faked it. And felt like an idiot. But what the hey. Friend needed a little help, and the photo wasn’t going anywhere, right? Wrong!

Linda told my Darling Daughter, and Darling Daughter wanted a copy.

“If that photo shows up on Facebook I’m gonna’ kill you,” I told Linda in no uncertain terms. Darling Daughter loves Facebook.

No, the photo showed up next at the Friends of the Library meeting, where everyone got a good laugh. I remember thinking ‘I’m gonna’ kill her.’

And next, the photo will be at the Friends of the Library’s Fun Photos booth on Saturday, at Sallisaw Main Street’s Bluegrass and Barbecue event, at the library. It will be a demonstration of what the group is offering for only $1, as a library fundraiser.

Yes! You too can also be pictured running wildly from a Photoshop dinosaur, or look crazy in masks, or just have your photo taken, like you’re in a photo. And you can laugh at photos of me too, if it will help our library.

Please don’t say “NO.” Come out to Bluegrass and Barbeque and have some fun. In the meantime, I will be practicing my “NO!” skills.