Unintentional Trick Riding Is No Fun

The Sallisaw Lions Club Rodeo features two trick riders this year. That’s great. Can’t wait to see them. When I was a kid, trick riding was always a featured event at rodeos. Then it sort of disappeared. I’m glad it’s back. Trick riding is spectacular.

In my youth, I did a bit of trick riding, but it was unintentional. It was the intention of my horse, a little cow pony mom had bought me for my birthday. She bought the little mare when she visited a cattle ranch and saw five kids crawling all over her. Little did she know. That cow pony, whom I named Cricket, appeared gentle, but had a mind of her own, big time.

Her favorite trick riding event was getting rid of me, the rider. My little bay Cricket could easily have been one of the first foundation Quarter Horses. She could stop and turn on a dime, a favorite Quarter Horse description. Unfortunately, when she did that, she often left me hanging in air. I didn’t hang for long. I hit the ground pretty quick.

Cricket hated pigs. I think most horses do. Unfortunately, our farm was next door to a pig farm. Farmer let his big old mama sows out in a big pasture. And we shared a fence. On hot days, those pigs liked laying along our shared fence line, hiding in the shade. But, when Cricket and I sometimes rode by they would jump to their feet squealing like, well, like pigs.

That unnerved Cricket immensely. She would promptly do her spin and run move, and I’d be hanging in air again. That happened so many times, I lost count. Consequently, I hate pigs too.

My little bay mare was smart, perhaps smarter than me. And she figured out how to dislodge me any time she wanted to. My own trick riding experiences included over-the-head somersaults. I perfected that move because I thought my cow pony should expand her skills by being a jumper. She disagreed. No matter what tiny little jump I set up for her to sail over, my cow pony would pull her incredible sliding stop maneuver. I unfortunately would continue on and clear the jump all by myself while spinning in midair. As I recall, the last time this event occurred I actually landed on my feet and did not let go of the reins. Cricket was disappointed in her failed attempt to escape.

My most spectacular trick was a death clutch on Cricket’s side after she pulled one of her own tricks on me, and took me under a limb. That was her favorite get-rid-of-rider-maneuver. I didn’t come all the way off, I was just hanging on Cricket’s left side, with my arms wrapped around her neck and my right leg up over her top side.

Cricket took exception to that style of riding, and took off at a run. So there I am, bouncing up and down sideways with every stride, and a death grip on my horse. The strange thing was, I considered my situation even as I hung there. ‘Well,’ I remember thinking. ‘I tried to pull myself up, but that didn’t work. Cricket is headed home at a dead run. Can I hang on here for that long? Probably not. What are my alternatives? I’m gonna’ have to let go, right? Yep. Just gonna’ have to let go.’

No kidding. That all passed through my mind as I hung there. So, I let go. Luckily I bounced and was unhurt. And I had learned my lesson. Never let go of those reins. So I climbed back up on a reluctant Cricket and rode home. Don’t believe I ever told mom about that exploit though.

I never yearned to be a trick rider. From my few experiences, it seems really hard, especially the ground part. I will leave that up to those spectacular riders who enjoy it and do it with expertise. So head on out to the Lions Club rodeo, and watch these amazing trick riders do what the rest of us cannot, or at least survived what trick riding our horses thought we should do.

Hot Dogs Come with Friends in High Places

I am a hot dog lover. Don’t know why, but I love a good hot dog. And this week, when it came to hot dogs, it was good to have friends in high places, kinda.

Maybe it was something developed in childhood, cause I can remember frying up hot dogs as a kid and literally pigging out.

Pigging out may be the correct word here. Long time ago in a town far, far away – Cincinnati, Ohio – I had a cousin who worked in a packing plant. Cincinnati is a blue-collar, meat-packing, beer-drinking town. Cousin once told my mother that if she knew what was in a hot dog she would NEVER eat another one.

Wrong. I don’t care what’s in that hot dog. I will eat it anyway I can get it. And I have. I like ‘em fried. I really like ‘em burned to black over an open camp fire or on the grill. I’ll even take ‘em boiled if I have to. I’ll eat ‘em cut up and heated up with pork and beans ala character Sheldon Cooper on “The Big Bang Theory.” I think one time I even ate some cold. All rules are to be broken, and I will not eat them nuked, that means heated up in a microwave so much they actually explode. Yuck.

And I can eat a lot of them. Over this year’s Fourth of July holiday I ate a whole pack of hot dogs. Well, not in one sitting. It took a couple days. But I ate ‘em all, all by myself.

So when Sonic Drive-In’s $1 Hot Dog Day arrives, you can imagine how happy I am. I can hardly wait. I almost went there for hot dogs for breakfast, but decided I wanted to savor my hot dogs for lunch.

But best bud Delanna N., of the KXMX advertising team, had an errand to run before lunch and asked me to go with her. “Sure,” I agreed, “as long as we go to Sonic afterward for hot dogs.” That was good for her and off we went at 11 a.m. Oops. Errand took until noon, and, it turns out, I’m not the only one who likes Sonic hot dogs. The Sonic Drive-In, at noon on Hot Dog Day, was full to capacity and then some.

Poor Delanna drove me round and round our Sallisaw Sonic. There were NO parking places to be had. And we weren’t the only ones. Delanna led a parade of hot dog lovers around Sonic. But if we were on the west side of the drive-in loop, then somebody on the east side would leave, hot dogs in hand I’m sure, and someone else would get the slot. If we were on the east side, then someone would leave on the west side, and someone else would get that slot.

I was beside myself. “It’s like we’re playing hot dog musical chairs, or parking spots! I should have been here at 11:30. I gotta’ have a hot dog!” I was putting all the blame on poor Delanna for delaying my hot dog feed. Sorry Delanna! Delanna drove around Sonic for more than 20 minutes trying to find just one parking spot where she could get me my hot dogs. It wasn’t to be.

“This isn’t working,” I finally told her. “Let’s go.” I nearly sobbed.

Delanna offered, “We can go to (another fast food place that shall remain nameless).”

“No,” I countered. “I’ll come back for my hot dogs.” And I did, at five minutes after 1 p.m. Too bad. No parking places. The drive-in remained packed to the gills with hot dog lovers just like me. But I wasn’t going to quit. I drove round, and round, and round.

Then my cell phone rang. I had to answer. It was a friend in a high place. And this friend shall also remain nameless. “You trying to get a hot dog?” I was asked.

“YES!” I babbled. Friend said, “I’m on the west side and getting ready to leave. I’ll stay here until you get behind me.”

Three hot dogs later, I was happy in hot dog heaven. And I am so grateful, I’m going to have to send friend a gift. Wonder if friend would like some hot dogs? I’ll be more than happy to supply the gift, after I have a bite or two of course.

Can’t Wait to Get Into Space and the Final Frontier

Really good news this week. The new Star Wars movie is nearly with us, and the new Star trek movie is in production. Yay. Yes. I’m a fan of both. Long time. 

Like from the beginning. . .1966 for Star Trek and 1977 for Star Wars.

Just this week I found out the new Star Wars movie “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” will be out on Dec. 18. “Star Trek Beyond” has begun production and is scheduled to be in theaters on July 8, 2016. I can hardly wait.

I confess. I’m a Trekkie. Way back when, I and my science-fiction-loving hubby would put the kids to bed early so we could devote the rest of the evening to Capt. James T. Kirk and the Enterprise. (As a Trekkie, I know what the T. stands for but I’m not telling!)

Through the years I watched every re-run of those old Star Trek television shows, even though I’ve seen them 10 or more times, and I have been to every movie. Was also a fan of those Star Trek spinoffs on TV, especially “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.”

But nothing over the years could compare to the original Star Trek and our Capt. Kirk.

That is until 2009’s “Star Trek.” Whoa. What’s this I wondered? I’m not a movie goer, and I don’t hang out on the internet looking up actors or movies. So I was happy to know a new “Star Trek” was with us, although I didn’t hold out much hope that I would be star struck.

I was wrong. Actor Chris Pine as the young James T. (I’m not telling!) Kirk is fabulous. And hey, Mr. Pine isn’t bad to look at either. Don’t be surprised. Even great-grandmas get to enjoy the scenery. Zachary Quinto completes the duo as the young Mr. Spock. Wow. It could barely be any better. I was shocked.

Then along came “Star Trek Into Darkness” and it did get better. Another one of my new favorite male actors, Benedict Cumberbatch, portrayed the infamous Khan. (You gotta be a Trekkie to know about Khan.) It got better in “Into Darkness.” In fact, when I just can’t take any more TV, I watch “Star Trek Into Darkness” again, and again, and again. Obviously, I love action-adventure movies. And this movie has the best heroes and best bad guys ever!

(One little side note:  PBS has announced that the increasingly popular Mr. Cumberbatch is coming back as my most recent favorite TV hero, “Sherlock.” Yay! That’s where I first found him, and PBS has the best TV on TV.)

And that’s why I can hardly wait till next summer, when, on a hot summer day, I hope to run into a cold movie theater and take a thrilling vacation on the Starship Enterprise. I may try to get there sooner. Just this week it was announced there is a Star Trek contest. The winner gets to visit the Star Trek set (oh my), meet the actors (excuse me while I faint if Chris Pine comes anywhere near me), and gets a walk-on part in the new Star Trek movie (well, I might make a good grandma alien.)

So I will now pin on my Starfleet communicator badge (I actually have two) and practice the Vulcan salute, and in the meantime, I hope you all “Live long and prosper,” just like Star Trek.

Kids Speak, and the Truth Be Told

All we parents and grandparents would agree that our kids will say the darndest things. Our children and grandchildren see our world in a whole other light. And it’s a light that is often more honest.

A good friend, an upstanding member of his community and church, and a grandparent, sent me the following to demonstrate. Enjoy.

GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.  She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny.  "How could he, with just two worms."

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible – Psalm 23.  She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.  Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm.  After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.  On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.

When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5-year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.  One day, she asked him why.

"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.  (Love this one! JW)

BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night?  That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).  For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."  This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.  My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"

Her response, "Because everybody always finishes their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"

SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.  Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer," said his mother.

 "I don't need to," the boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted.  "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house," Johnny explained.  "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook."

Early Fireworks Kick Off the Holiday

Fireworks and the Fourth of July are two of my favorite things. It’s all about summer, a bang-up party and living in the greatest country ever.

Mom Nature got my holiday off to an early start last Friday, with some fireworks of her own. In fact that storm had so much fireworks, otherwise known as lightning, and waterworks, I couldn’t get out of my pickup. Of course storm started while I was on the way home from the grocery store, with food in front thank goodness. That didn’t matter too much since Mom Nature dumped so much water on us, sideways with the wind thrown in, that it actually rained into the cab of my pickup truck.

Finally at home, I decided it would be more prudent to just stay in the pickup. That’s because it was raining so hard I thought I might drown just trying to get to the door, and the fireworks, or lightning, was cracking so fast and furious, I thought I might be struck down. If I thought I was gonna stay dry, I was sadly mistaken. The buckets of rain still managed to infiltrate my truck so much it was raining inside. The old towel I keep on hand in the cab (cause you never know when a dog, cat or other pet might need to join you for a ride) was quickly soaked after I stuffed it around the truck door. Better it than me.

When the downpour seemed to lessen, I made a dash for it. Oops. There are worse situations than being stuck in a wet truck cab. That would be in a house with no electricity, meaning no lights, no tv, and no air conditioning. I guessed that Nature’s storm had turned out the lights, and I didn’t care too much. I didn’t care too much because I like my back porch, and that’s where I went to wait out the darkness. I took note on my watch that it was 4:30 p.m.

Back on the porch I was enjoying myself, feeding the birds, consoling the dog Reba who is terrified of storms, and just watching it rain. It was nice. It was nice for a long time. It was nice clear up to dark at 9 p.m. Well, I did get just a bit bored and called the power company, who reported, yes, I was in the outage zone. Like I didn’t know that. All I wanted to know was could they estimate when I might NOT be in the outage zone.

So I resigned myself to more evening on the porch with candles lit. That is until I heard a strange noise in the dark.  A quick reconnoiter of the yard revealed a rabbit, who was watching me closer than I was watching him. That’s OK, I thought. I can handle a rabbit.

When the possum showed up, I had second thoughts. It wasn’t a very big possum and it came sauntering around the left side of the porch, looking for Reba’s left-over dog food, I’m sure. It just wanted a free meal. I, on the other hand, wanted no part of that half-grown possum. So I yelled at it. I stomped my foot at it. I waved my arms at it. I did this all from 20 feet away. I don’t like possums. They scare me.

Little possum took the hint, turned around, and sauntered off. Note:  It did not run off. It sauntered. Apparently my physical threats don’t mean much to a possum. But that was all I needed. I kept wondering what else was going to walk, stroll or crawl into my light-less life on the back porch. Another note:  Reba, the yard dog, slept through the entire possum encounter, curled up on the back porch, not 10 feet away. No help there.

I went inside, lit candles, found a musical media that operated on batteries, and tried to wait out the no-power evening, in a hot house. Even fell asleep once. At midnight, power was restored after nearly eight hours, and I rejoiced. Even sent text messages to all my children. Then cranked up the AC, and went to bed. All in all, not a bad evening.

We hope the same for you. . .a safe and happy Fourth of July, and a possum-less evening on the back porch.