The Hummingbird Riot

I caused a riot last weekend.

There seems to be a shortage of that powdered hummingbird nectar that used to be available everywhere. Not this year. Every local store I checked was out of that hummingbird food.

Retailers please note:  The hummingbirds haven’t flown south yet! And I’ve got a yard full of hungry hummers!

The hummingbirds really showed up in my backyard this summer. I’ve tried for years to attract them, not very successfully. This year they’ve showed up in droves. I suspect the few who spent summers with me in the past have returned with their teenage children. Or perhaps they’ve been attracted by the banquet provided. Determined to get those birds to my backyard, I hung out seven (Yes, 7!) hummingbird feeders. Hang the feeders and they will come. 

Yes they did. Bunches of them.

Then the hummingbird nectar disappeared from store shelves. Help!

“Make your own,” Darling Daughter suggested. She does. “Boil the sugar and water for 15 minutes, cool it down, and you’re good to go.”

I responded, “Its 100 degrees outside. I’m not boiling anything! I won’t even turn on the stove.”

So the nectar level in my feeders dropped, and dropped, and dropped. Ever been confronted by an angry, hungry hummingbird? It’s downright scary. One little female filed her complaint with me directly one morning. She flew right in front of my face, hovered there, stared me in the eye, and said, “Cheep! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!” That half-ounce bird scared me so bad I ducked and ran.

I ran to every store I knew had the nectar in the past. None there. I drove to Arkansas. I was desperate. Finally found some, but nearly had to fight my way out of the store, while protecting my two packages of hummingbird nectar from other desperate hummingbird lovers. I had grabbed the last two packages of nectar the store had, and was going through the checkout line when the shopper behind me demanded, “Where did you get that!?!”

“In gardening,” I offered.

Shopper complained, “I can’t find any nectar anywhere!”

I grabbed my bag of hummingbird nectar and fled. I feared a nectar riot may erupt if I lingered too long.

Back in the backyard, I cleaned out the feeders and filled them up. That’s when the real riot began.

In case you haven’t noticed, hummingbirds don’t like one another, and are very territorial. That’s really why I have seven feeders, so they can share. It didn’t work. They still fight like, well, like siblings. Those half-ounce feisty little birds fight and feud like family. They attack each other like little miniature World War II fighter planes, darting and dodging all over the place in a dog fight, or maybe we should call it a bird-dog fight.

And they don’t care if you are standing there watching them either. They’ll zoom around you just like, well, like angry hummingbirds. I have visions of tiny hummingbirds flying straight into me and going bird-bill deep, making me look like a hummingbird pin cushion. Of course they are such good flyers that will never happen.

I’ve tried getting photos of these aerial bird fights, but the birds are so fast, even my good camera can’t stop the action. Still, their antics keep me entertained for hours. No sooner did one bird stop in mid-flight to get a sip from a feeder, than it was immediately dived bombed by another.

And the whole time they continue to tell each other what they think. “CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP!” I fear that if we could translate hummingbird speech, those cheeps could probably not be published due to being X rated for language.

And the irony was, that after all my fussing and worry, my search for the nectar, and determination to make sure my hummingbirds got to eat, not one of ever got a good meal due to the riot.

But this morning, I noticed the feeders were empty again, so the riot may be over. Or not. I’ll be filling those feeders on Saturday morning, and will be wearing a helmet and flak jacket. Don’t want to be unprotected in the middle of a hummingbird riot.