Tell Me This Won’t Happen to Us

 All my friends and I seem to be aging at about the same rate at about the same time.

And they share the same aging concerns as I do. . .Will this happen to me?!? Yes, we do worry about what age will do to us.

Witness the following, sent to me by a recently retired friend. He wrote:

“Tell me this won’t happen to us!”

An elderly Floridian called 911 on his cell phone to report that his car has been broken into. He is hysterical as he explains his situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' he cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm... An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says. 'He got in the back seat by mistake.'

“Tell me this won’t happen to us!” my friend continued to worry.
 
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses. 'Was I going up the stairs or down?’ The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

(Confession:  Yes I have wondered “What in the world am I doing?”)

“Tell me this won’t happen to us!” (Too late!)

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

(Have had to tell several friends they needed to get their hearing checked.  Couldn’t hear their answers though.)

“Tell me this won’t happen to us!”

Two elderly gentlemen had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.’

His friend stared at him for at least three minutes -- he just stared and stared at him. Finally he said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
 
(OOPS! Oh good grief! It is happening to us!)

“Tell me this won’t happen to us!”

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the interstate. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

This will NOT happen. I signed a pact with adult children that I will not use cell phone while driving. That should save me.