A Nonymous friend is at it again. A
Nonymous loves to surf the Internet to find lists of strange but true stuff.
His latest edition is entitled
“Questions That Haunt Me.” Oddly, I’ve not thought of many of the following
questions.
That leads me to believe that A
Nonymous has not much to do but sit around and think. Has he finished his
Christmas shopping? Perhaps he has assigned his Christmas shopping list to his
wife, which I strongly suspect, while he works on other lists. But OK, for
those who have nothing else to do, read on.
Questions that Haunt Me
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up
like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are going dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my favorite -
The statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of serious mental illness. Think of your
three best friends -- if they seem okay, then it's you.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up
like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are going dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are NOT on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my favorite -
The statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of serious mental illness. Think of your
three best friends -- if they seem okay, then it's you.
Have a nice day A Nonymous. Now I’m going Christmas
shopping.
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