My cell phone did it to me again!
Well, I’m blaming the new cell phone anyway.
Darling Daughter texts me every morning to just say Hello. I think she does that to make sure I’m still alive. I always text back with “Good morning. I’m great. How are you?,” or some such.
And when I got her text last week, I immediately texted back the above answer. I did not check on who I was sending it to. My old cell phone, which was much more simple than the present smart cell phone, always sent my reply straight back to the person who texted in the first place.
New cell phone doesn’t do that. New cell phone stays on the last person you texted, not the new person who just now texted you.
Consequently, I texted the boss’ wife, “Good morning! I’m great today. How are you?” You got to give her credit. She texted right back, “I’m fine thanks.” Can only hope she thought it was nice of me to inquire about her health and happiness at 7 a.m. An apology was in order and delivered by text of course.
I was so embarrassed, but Darling Daughter and boss’s wife just laughed at me and reported wrong texts happen to everyone. Well, NOT WITH THE OLD CELL PHONE!
Anyway, Darling Daughter did not escape the Cell Phone Curse herself last week. I got the following: “I’m going out to get drunk Friday evening. Let’s go do something Saturday.” Darling Daughter doesn’t drink, and, if she was going to do so on Friday night, I doubted we would be going out to do something fun on Saturday.
So I texted back, “WHAT?” You might understand I was a bit shocked.
Oops. Blame it on auto text. Darling Daughter replied, “HAHAHA! That was supposed to say I’m picking up grandson on Friday, taking him back on Saturday morning. Let’s go do something.”
I shudder to speculate how smart cell phone confused drunk and grandson.
But I’m happy to report, as above, that we are not the only ones which auto correct has done in. Read on.
-“Where’s granny. Thought she was going to be here for Thanksgiving.”
-“Granny’s in the grave.”
-“What?”
-“Garage! Garage! Dang auto correct!”
And. . .
-“Stupid auto correct. It made me say thongs I didn’t Nintendo.”
And. . .
-“About to take puppies to the broilers. OMG! Groomers! Groomers! I can’t believe auto correct.”
And. . .
-“You’re 65 today. Happy Birthday. How do you feel?”
-“Another day closer to velcro strapons.”
-“What? Strap ons?”
-“Sneakers! Sneakers! Stupid cell phone!”
And. . .
-“Had my first cup of cameltoe tea today.”
-“What’s that?”
-“OMG! Chamomile tea!”
_-“LOL. Awesome.”
-“No it’s not! I’m so appalled.”
And. . .
-“I hate April. It’s rainy and disgusting.”
-“But April showers bring May flatulence.”
-“Oh how nice. Every month is flatulence where I live. Have you met my husband?”
And. . .
-“Grandma’s in heaven now.”
-“What? She died? What happened?”
“In HAIR SALON! Sorry. Stupid auto correct.”
And. . .
“I got a new candle. It really smells good.”
“I love candles. What is it called?”
-“It’s called sewer breeze and it only cost $5.”
-“I can get that for free. All I have to do is drive to the Jersey shore.”
-“SUMMER BREEZE! Sorry. My bad.”
No it’s not. It’s your smart phone’s bad! And thank goodness, I’m not the only one outsmarted by a cell phone.
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