Acid Comments Can Be So True

Good grief! Friends have started making snippy comments. I’m not sure if these comments are directed straight at me, or if friends are beginning to feel the effects of age themselves. These comments are from Acid Aunty. I am not an Acid Aunty or even an Acid Granny. I do not snip at my grandkids.

So at first I was a bit offended. Then I read them. Aha! These are comments are true and sometimes hit the nail on the head. I loved ‘em. Hope you do too.

-I never use my turn signal. It’s nobody’s business where I’m going.

-If life is a journey, mine is between the refrigerator and the computer. (Me: And the couch.)

-When I have a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children. That’s what it says to do on the bottle!

-Be nice to nurses. They keep the doctors from killing you. (Me: I have two granddaughters, both nurses, who swear this is true.)

-Snow White had the right idea. She moved in with seven guys, who went to work every day, and when she had to clean she whistled and the birds did her chores. (Me: I’ve been working on those birds, filling my bird feeders. They sure do eat a lot.)

-My book club only reads wine labels.

-Instead of cleaning the house, I turn the lights off. (Me: Clean house? At my age? Why bother.)

-I drink coffee for your protection. (Me: Really, really true.)

-Instead of a sign that says, “Do not disturb,” I want a sign that says, “Already disturbed. Proceed with caution.” (Me: Better make some more coffee.)

-Sometimes I panic and think there’s a crazy person in my house. Then I relax. It’s just me.

-I took up photography because it’s the only way I can shoot people and cut off their heads without going to jail. (Me: That is not why I took up photography. But it’s a good idea.)

-I’m on a nut free diet. I avoid people who drive me nuts.

-Age is only a number. Weight is only a number. I hate numbers.

-On some days the supply of legitimate swear words is insufficient. (Me: I have been known to make up swear words. But not because I’ve run out. Swearing was not allowed in my Christian childhood home. If I had to emphasize something, really emphasize it, I had to make it up.”

-I always avoid the things that make me fat, likes scales, mirrors and photographs.

-I always offer two meals – take it or leave it. (Me: Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.)

Have a great weekend everyone!