Too Dumb for a Smart Phone

I’m too dumb for a smart phone. I like my dumb phone. It’s small, simple and sweet.

But, it’s hard to turn down a Christmas gift from Darling Daughter, who decided I needed a smart phone, and delivered to me a top-of-the-line phone for Christmas.

She’s not the only one who thought I need a smart phone. Everyone I know, from the boss to the family, has advised me I need a smart phone. Smart phones have so many more options than my little dumb phone, I was told. One of those was the fact my little dumb phone wouldn’t, or couldn’t, take or receive photos. It also wouldn’t talk to some other phones, which we could never figure out.

It does have good attributes. People have complemented me on my tiny cell phone and wanted to know where I got it. Apparently the new smart phones are too big. My dumb phone size has come full circle. My dumb phone is simple. Three or four buttons and you’re done. And I can text so good my grandchildren brag on me. Unfortunately, I’ve had my little dumb phone for so long, and love to text so much, that my fingernails have chipped the coverings right off the letter pad. And sweet little dumb phone has no long, complicated contract I must adhere too. Pay up and you’re done.

Now here comes my new smart phone. As for as cost goes, my little dumb phone can’t beat it. Smart phone is free. OK. I’m gonna’ save some money.

Smart phone is huge, but I can still get it in my purse. OK. That is acceptable.

But it has all these buttons. Hundreds of buttons. And the first night all it did was blink at me. Nobody has figured out why it blinked at me. Seems my smart phone’s buttons are different from other smart phone buttons. After an extensive search on the internet, it was finally revealed that that little green blinking button was to tell me I had an alert. An alert to what I have still not figured out. It could possibly have been an email or text.

Mail. I live by text messaging. I love texts. They are short, sweet and to the point. Smart phone has tiny little keyboard my fingers are apparently too big to hit correctly. Have not yet been able to send a correctly spelled text message.

Then I found the microphone button. Wow. I can talk my texts. And I do. I talk and talk and talk. I love that microphone button. Can text forever and not type a thing. Friends and family might not like my new texts, cause I go on and on and on. Family has learned they should not give grandma a microphone, cause she won’t shut up. Sometimes smart phone doesn’t quite understand what I’m saying, and sends a bit of nonsense, but I also found the correct-it button, so I’m good.

Will confess I’m still having a bit of trouble figuring out how to answer a phone call, but I will eventually figure it out.

Funny thing though, I thought smart phone would come with a how-to manual. Nope. No little complicated book on what to do or how to use all those other buttons. So back to the internet, where I found out that if you want a manual on how to use your new smart phone, you have to pay for it. What!?! Yep. $20 or more. No thank you. I’ll do this myself!

So off into the new-to-me technology world I go, armed now with a smart phone that is smarter than me. “Don’t worry mom,” Darling Daughter encourages me. “You will figure it out. We all did.” Her final bit of advice was, “Ignore all those buttons. You don’t need them.”

And I’m gonna’ take that advice. I can text, surf the internet (oh joy), listen to music, take photos and talk at family and friends. Hey, maybe I’m not so dumb after all.