No joke! Really! I mean this is no joke for April 1.
My Funny Filosophers are still sending out emails because they have nothing else to do in their retirement years I guess. But apparently one has taken up the study of Zen.
What is Zen anyway? Excuse me, I gotta’ go Google Zen.
OK. It’s a form of Chinese Buddhism. Probably need to Google that too, but I would just as soon move on. So here are my Funny Filosopher’s latest teachings.
20 TOP ZEN TEACHINGS
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In
fact, just go away and leave me alone.
2. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
4. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing
a couple of mortgage payments.
5. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.
6. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
8. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably well worth it.
9. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
10. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
11. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes
from bad judgment.
12. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
13. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither
one works.
14. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
15. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
16. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butt -
then things just keep getting worse.
17. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.
18.
Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
19. Breathe
in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your worries.
20. What
happens when you are scared to death – twice?
Sounds to me
like good ole Sequoyah County Zen.
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