Tipsy Squirrels and Videographers

The Huffington Post reported on “Tippy the Fainting Squirrel” this week.

For those in the not-know, The Huffington Post is an on-line newspaper, which must have a thing for squirrels. Found that out when I searched for funny squirrel stuff on line and Huffington Post came up, a lot.

The tipsy squirrel was the latest post. The Post’s video shows a squirrel who apparently has been getting tipsy, on something. Squirrel would nibble on a nut, then fall over. Several readers wondered if the nuts had fermented. We hope the squirrel survived whatever ailed it.

The video reminded me of my own squirrel population, which I have had time to observe lately due to Oklahoma’s fabulous spring that lets me sit on the back porch a lot.

My little 10 acres has two sets of squirrels. The front yard is inhabited by red squirrels who are raucous and belligerent. The back half of the yard is inhabited by one little gray squirrel. Little gray squirrel has a set schedule. She (we decided she’s a she because she’s a little bitty thing) comes out of the horse pasture, scampers across the top of the pasture fence to the feed shed. That’s where she checks for any horse feed that may have been accidentally dropped when Darling Daughter feeds her horses. If no feed is found, she will enter the shed and try to get into the feed itself. When Darling Daughter figured out where her feed was going, she had to buy metal garbage cans with lids to keep critter out.

Feed check done, little gray squirrel climbs to the top of shed, runs back to fence, and sometimes will sit atop gate post just to check things out. Then down she goes to get a drink out of the horse trough. Back up the post, across the shed roof and onto the nearest tree limb is her next step. From the limb it is a short hop to the porch roof.

When I sat on the porch this week I kept wondering what that thump, thump, thump was. It was made clear when little gray squirrel jumped from roof to back yard tree, where the bird feeders are hung. Little gray squirrel was racing across the roof to get to bird feeder tree.

“Aha. I’ve caught you,” I thought, believing I had found the culprit who kept cleaning out my bird feeders on a daily basis. I prepared to give chase.

But no, little gray squirrel just sat down in a tree fork, where apparently rain had accumulated, and took a bath. A big bath. She washed her hands, she washed her face, she combed her whiskers. Then she scratched each of her four armpits, and took many minutes to comb out her tail. Did not know squirrels were so clean.

Then she disappeared behind a limb, and I again prepared to run her away from the bird feeders. But no, again. Little gray squirrel disappeared. Throughout this whole scenario I sat very still, trying not to let little gray squirrel know I was watching. But at this point it dawned on me that I was sitting there with my new phone, which still confounds me, but will take photographs and videos.

I raised phone and gently pushed video button. I wanted evidence of who was eating my bird seed. No squirrel. I panned the area. And there she was. Not on the bird feeder. She had climbed down from the tree, hidden behind the trunk, and moved on to the carport where she was stashing as many maple tree seeds into her mouth as possible. Hum. Gonna’ have to try a seed. Maybe they taste like maple syrup.

Little gray squirrel got her fill, and I got a video. But she does not appear tipsy. I do. That phone is hard to hold, at arm’s length and at an angle. The video dances around like I’m either on the high seas in a small boat, or am a little tipsy myself. I’m not. I promise. I just need practise.

Which I’m sure I’ll get because I’m sure little gray squirrel will be back, and I can video her some more, I hope. If that happens, stay tuned. Little gray squirrel may appear right here, tipsy or not, depending on the videographer, me.